Quite often we think that none understands what we are going through. We pronounce that neither our parents who bore us nor our spouse who is there with us at all times can fully understand the depth of pain that we face emotionally and mentally. Often we claim that none can grasp the intensity of our struggles as they haven’t been through it. We profess that if those around us cannot comprehend the agony we are facing, how can God Almighty gauge our pain. The response to that is: “God knows our heartbeat! He has been through it all and He can understand it fully”
I was taken aback when I meditated on Matthew 26 which talks about Jesus’ last moments before His crucifixion. This passage portrays a glimpse of the emotional and mental struggle Jesus went through while He was 100% God and 100% man in His life on earth.
Matt 26: 36-38 “Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”
He was sorrowful and troubled to the point of death. He wanted his close disciples to support him when He needed it the most. However, they couldn’t perceive the trauma and mental agony Jesus was facing.
Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” - Matt 26: 39
But a noteworthy quality that we could see in this incident is Jesus falling with his face to the ground and praying to His Father when he could no longer bear the pain. Jesus always had a communication with His Heavenly Father through prayer. We can see in several verses in the gospel the times when Jesus committed himself to prayer. If Jesus required constant communication with God Almighty in prayer, how much more would the mortal man need it?
When our burdens are too much to carry, go into God’s presence in prayer. A.W Tozer once said that some of the greatest prayers are rendered when you don’t say a single word or ask for anything. It could be the moment when you don’t have words to explain anything to God, but just unending tears.
Groanings which cannot be uttered are often prayers which cannot be refused. — Spurgeon
Our tears and sorrow always matter to our compassionate God. We can see the cry of a small boy move our God in Gen 21: 17 “God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, “What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there.”
Matt 26: 40- 44 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”
When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.”
How heart-breaking it is to realize that you have none to support you in times of your crisis. You may feel lonely and isolated, those who pledged to stand beside you through thick and thin may forget you, but Jesus will be there beside you, holding your right hand. He can understand your struggles and your pain because He has been through it all.
Something that caught my attention here is Jesus praying and asking God the same request thrice. We repeatedly request something only if we don’t receive a response from the person we are requesting. We can see that even as Jesus was requesting, we don’t see any response from God Almighty. The constant communication that was there between the Father and the Son was interrupted. Why? Because God wanted His Son to redeem us from the bondage of sin.
John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Heavenly Father did not grant His Son’s request because God loved you and me more than His own Son! Only Jesus could be our Redeemer.
“He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him.” John 1:11
He was rejected by His own people and above all, He even had to face the deep distress of losing the link with His Heavenly Father. We cannot imagine the trauma He faced when God turned his eyes away from Him. It’s unbearable and uncomparable!
In the next couple of verses, we can see that His own disciple, Judas betrayed Him. Just like any of us, even Jesus faced betrayal while on earth. He was back-stabbed by his own people. When your friends and family betrays you for no reason, understand that God sees you and He knows you. If you run into His presence, He is waiting to comfort you.
That was not it all, in Matt 26: 59 we see a whole group of people trying to bring forth false accusations against Jesus.
“ The chief priests and the whole Sanhedrin were looking for false evidence against Jesus so that they could put him to death.”
There was no justice! But Jesus suffered it all for you and for me. We cannot fathom the mental agony He was going through. It is beyond human comprehension! But since He has been through everything, He knows you well. When you feel that the world hasn’t been fair to you and you don’t have a shoulder to rest upon or a hand to comfort you, be confident of this: Jesus is there by your side with arms open wide, to receive you and to comfort you. He knows your heartbeat like no other!
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